"when we were younger we had nothing to do so we'd close our eyes and spin around in circles / happy to hit the ground / happy to just fall down"
I just sat down to type something out and thought I might just leave y'all with these Communist Daughter lyrics, just because I find them really impacting and nostalgic. I was just about to hit "publish post" when I got a call from the police constable I chatted to yesterday.
In the wake of a destructive fender bender, buying patio furniture for our new house, finishing Block 2, and all other things adult, it just hit me at how my childhood is dying. I no longer see the world in the same naive and innocent way, a playground full of potential and free of rapists and pedophiles. I might still apologize to a stuffed animal when it falls from the bed to the ground, but I've come to realize that that's the extent of my imagination nowadays. I can't pretend anymore.
I can't go to the park and sit cross-legged and run my hands through the sand for an hour believing that I'm manipulating the earth like a Naruto character. I don't know how to touch the sky at the top of my swing peak anymore, nor can I pretend that by putting on a decoder ring from a box of Lucky Charms I now have powers like the Green Lantern. What was once a subjective reality is now just a game.
So as I look through the front window out onto the street and see that adorable five year old kid riding shirtless on his bike with training wheels, I'm disappointed that when I look through the front window it's just a kid on a bicycle with training wheels.
When I was younger that'd be Paul Bunyan on a Kawasaki Ninja.
Showing posts with label nostalgia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nostalgia. Show all posts
4.24.2010
12.05.2009
the return
At long last.
After a good three weeks hiatus, I'm ready to let the creative juices flow and ebb. I think I've sufficiently pounded my brain into a tender submission with origins, insertions, innervations and actions (enjoy it my fine doctor friends who are beginning MSK!). I feel strangely dead inside a little bit - the winter weather having limited my physical activity level and my time, energy and emotions all but previously consumed by school. Here I enter the closest taste to freedom (well actually I'm just about to start clinical) and it tastes pretty sweet.
When you're aiming for the future in the present, all you can really think of is the past. Right now it's almost 4:00 AM, I can't sleep, and all I can think about is the beautiful sleeps I've had in the past. I draw this analogy parallel to the fact that when I'm sitting here trying to amuse myself with pointless shenanigans, all I can think about is my past and all the times I used to have fun...doing pointless shenanigans.
I remember in Grade 4 I took a handful of snow and went up to this high brick wall at Greenfield Elementary. I sidled along it and really nonchalantly wrote the letters "F-U-C-K" with the snow, then ran away. At the end of recess Madame Godin gathered up all the children and asked who did this, and I kind of just hid and got away with it.
I remember in Junior High when me, Kash and Aaron would head over to the swingsets at Westbrook Elementary and we'd do swing-jumping, seeing who could do the best tricks. Everyone eventually got the 540 down but I was the only one to finally hit a 720 and not bail; it made me pretty proud. Kash and I would also go to the front of Westbrook where they had this stone Westbrook sign up in front and we'd try to test our vertical by jumping up onto it. I was able to get up on it pretty consistently, but one day I undershot it and dented my leg. I still have the indentation today.
In Grade 3 we used to run over to St. Stanislaus where they would have these giant trees and we'd climb them and pretend we were in watchtowers. That was off school limits and we'd get in trouble for going there and yet we did all the time - it's like in that book Shaking the Money Tree where the main protagonist hides at lunch behind this tree that's off school limits and whittles with her pocketknife. We were so badass.
Things were so simple then. I used to go over to Uncle Ron's next door every Sunday morning at 6 AM to watch cartoons. He had this trampoline I used to love jumping on and this massive black dog Penny I loved hanging out with. He had these Marvel comics strewn all over the house, which is really the only reason I actually like comics, because every time I pick on up I reminisce. I played this 2D scrolling adventure game called Alcatraz (yes, it approximates the escape) at his house and to this day it's the best game I know (entirely for nostalgia).
I went back and visited Uncle Ron a few months ago just to say hello. It's weird, my old neighborhood has changed so much - all the people are different now. The tree in the front yard I used to climb all the time, the one that loomed so large when I was a kid seems like just another tree. I learned my neighbors, the one I thought were really cool and smart and did martial arts were actually in a lot of gang trouble and their mom packed them up and moved them away because they got in too much heat. Ron told me they broke into his house once but he never said anything. His daughter's living with him now, and his cat's still hanging around being a fat lazy slob like it always was. He's still a joker and still looks like Garfield.
I think things need to change so much because it's only then that we appreciate what it was.
After a good three weeks hiatus, I'm ready to let the creative juices flow and ebb. I think I've sufficiently pounded my brain into a tender submission with origins, insertions, innervations and actions (enjoy it my fine doctor friends who are beginning MSK!). I feel strangely dead inside a little bit - the winter weather having limited my physical activity level and my time, energy and emotions all but previously consumed by school. Here I enter the closest taste to freedom (well actually I'm just about to start clinical) and it tastes pretty sweet.
When you're aiming for the future in the present, all you can really think of is the past. Right now it's almost 4:00 AM, I can't sleep, and all I can think about is the beautiful sleeps I've had in the past. I draw this analogy parallel to the fact that when I'm sitting here trying to amuse myself with pointless shenanigans, all I can think about is my past and all the times I used to have fun...doing pointless shenanigans.
I remember in Grade 4 I took a handful of snow and went up to this high brick wall at Greenfield Elementary. I sidled along it and really nonchalantly wrote the letters "F-U-C-K" with the snow, then ran away. At the end of recess Madame Godin gathered up all the children and asked who did this, and I kind of just hid and got away with it.
I remember in Junior High when me, Kash and Aaron would head over to the swingsets at Westbrook Elementary and we'd do swing-jumping, seeing who could do the best tricks. Everyone eventually got the 540 down but I was the only one to finally hit a 720 and not bail; it made me pretty proud. Kash and I would also go to the front of Westbrook where they had this stone Westbrook sign up in front and we'd try to test our vertical by jumping up onto it. I was able to get up on it pretty consistently, but one day I undershot it and dented my leg. I still have the indentation today.
In Grade 3 we used to run over to St. Stanislaus where they would have these giant trees and we'd climb them and pretend we were in watchtowers. That was off school limits and we'd get in trouble for going there and yet we did all the time - it's like in that book Shaking the Money Tree where the main protagonist hides at lunch behind this tree that's off school limits and whittles with her pocketknife. We were so badass.
Things were so simple then. I used to go over to Uncle Ron's next door every Sunday morning at 6 AM to watch cartoons. He had this trampoline I used to love jumping on and this massive black dog Penny I loved hanging out with. He had these Marvel comics strewn all over the house, which is really the only reason I actually like comics, because every time I pick on up I reminisce. I played this 2D scrolling adventure game called Alcatraz (yes, it approximates the escape) at his house and to this day it's the best game I know (entirely for nostalgia).
I went back and visited Uncle Ron a few months ago just to say hello. It's weird, my old neighborhood has changed so much - all the people are different now. The tree in the front yard I used to climb all the time, the one that loomed so large when I was a kid seems like just another tree. I learned my neighbors, the one I thought were really cool and smart and did martial arts were actually in a lot of gang trouble and their mom packed them up and moved them away because they got in too much heat. Ron told me they broke into his house once but he never said anything. His daughter's living with him now, and his cat's still hanging around being a fat lazy slob like it always was. He's still a joker and still looks like Garfield.
I think things need to change so much because it's only then that we appreciate what it was.
11.01.2009
days of yore
Last week I had the opportunity to visit friends I haven't seen in a while. Justin x Monica got married a few months back and it's impressive to see them flourish - they've got a wonderful place in MacEwan and a beautiful life ahead of them.
I knew Justin since early junior high, when I transferred into his class after making the A.C. program (how little it matters now...). Having a common trait of playing way too many games, we hit it off pretty quickly. He introduced me to Fragapalooza and I showed him how to do Misty 1960s on X Games Pro Boarder. We are officially credited with bringing Counterstrike to our school back when people only played de_dust because it was like one of three levels, and we probably made VB's only clan (Clan Tichi).
Those were honestly the days. We reminisced about BMW Films and Clive Owen's first huge hit in Star, and how every role since then is minuscule in comparison to how great he was back in the day. I remember Madonna actually had bruises from the stunt man's driving, which is impressive - all the bumping around you see is completely real. You see BMW Films basically changed the internet by introducing high quality videos to the public featuring some world renown actors and directors - Marilyn Manson, Adriana Lima, Mickey Rourke, Forest Whittaker, Ang Lee, Guy Ritchi, John Woo...just to name a few. It revolutionized the age and brought viral to the world. It was all we could do but shiver in anticipation as we awaited the next episode.
We played online You Don't Know Jack, probably the world's best trivia game, because we couldn't install the original disc due to incompatibility with Windows 7. We thought back to hours spent in computer class clicking when playing the online StarCraft ripoff Nexus, which doesn't exist anymore but consisted of killing Zergling and Hydralisks, upgrading your cash flow and buying weapons so you could dominate. Our friend Jeff was among the top 10 in the world in that game, and it consumed our lives then.
How much has changed since those days. We're all focused on midterms, finances, babies. Try to remember something you did back in the day and go do it - the nostalgia is exhilarating.
I knew Justin since early junior high, when I transferred into his class after making the A.C. program (how little it matters now...). Having a common trait of playing way too many games, we hit it off pretty quickly. He introduced me to Fragapalooza and I showed him how to do Misty 1960s on X Games Pro Boarder. We are officially credited with bringing Counterstrike to our school back when people only played de_dust because it was like one of three levels, and we probably made VB's only clan (Clan Tichi).
Those were honestly the days. We reminisced about BMW Films and Clive Owen's first huge hit in Star, and how every role since then is minuscule in comparison to how great he was back in the day. I remember Madonna actually had bruises from the stunt man's driving, which is impressive - all the bumping around you see is completely real. You see BMW Films basically changed the internet by introducing high quality videos to the public featuring some world renown actors and directors - Marilyn Manson, Adriana Lima, Mickey Rourke, Forest Whittaker, Ang Lee, Guy Ritchi, John Woo...just to name a few. It revolutionized the age and brought viral to the world. It was all we could do but shiver in anticipation as we awaited the next episode.
We played online You Don't Know Jack, probably the world's best trivia game, because we couldn't install the original disc due to incompatibility with Windows 7. We thought back to hours spent in computer class clicking when playing the online StarCraft ripoff Nexus, which doesn't exist anymore but consisted of killing Zergling and Hydralisks, upgrading your cash flow and buying weapons so you could dominate. Our friend Jeff was among the top 10 in the world in that game, and it consumed our lives then.
How much has changed since those days. We're all focused on midterms, finances, babies. Try to remember something you did back in the day and go do it - the nostalgia is exhilarating.
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