satisfaction

I really like happiness. Ecstasy I'm not so sure of, pretty much because too much of anything (even happiness; Happiness Disease) can't be that good for you. But I really enjoy seeing people being happy, and one the ways they do this is by fulfilling their cravings.

I'm sure we all have our little habits - cocaine users enjoy speedballs just as much as I enjoy reading about new breakthroughs in neuro research. This morning I was in line at Trends when this gentleman goes up to the counter rubbing his hands like he's cold or something. The cashier smiles - he's a regular coffee fiend and she knows what's coming. In bated breath, he shivers while he says "Vente French please", as if his coffee order is a secret and he's trying to keep it underground like hipsters do. I stand in line and watch this man quivering with anticipation as he awaits his morning brew bartering it for some spare change he probably found in his couch the night before when he realized 7 am morning = caffeine. He takes a ginger sip and the smile is akin to a cocaine user on a speedball.

I'm sure this is more ecstasy than it is happiness, but for some odd reason I really like it when people indulge themselves. They're just fun to watch, and when they're smiling so hugely you can't help but enjoy yourself while you watch them enjoy themselves. Think Jia on Hickory Sticks and sausage simultaneously, Jess Ting on ice cream, Mag's mom on coconut juice and you probably have a pretty clear depiction of why it's so fun to watch them have a good time.

So speaking on the topic of indulgence, I traversed over to the Cross Cancer Institute (CCI) today to await Mag, who was to finish her shift in about an hour. I knew they had a cafe in the building, but what I didn't expect was that they had an absolutely FANTASTIC bookstore. I hate bookstores only because I love books so much and feel the need to spend absolutely ludicrous amounts of money because I love bookstores so much. I had expected only to poke my head in but I spent 30 minutes in there and had a stack of about seven books. I decided to limit myself since I typically never get around to reading all the books I buy if I buy them in bulk, so I put four away and then there were three.

In total, I spent $7.50 for three books. A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews (I had accidentally mistaken her for Marina Endicott, who wrote Good To a Fault and thought they were one and the same author...but I hear the book's good anyways so who knows), Behindlings by the ever complicated Nicola Barker, and Cobra Event by Richard Preston. The latter is a piece of crap epidemic/pathology novel I read when I was in like Grade 8 but I LOVE collecting books I read as a kid just for nostalgia. Anyways, two of the books were a dollar each. NICOLA BARKER FOR A DOLLAR. That's even more ridiculous than Jia's 25 cent chicken nuggets, in my honest, professional opinion (because I am a professional on judging the value of chicken nuggets vs. text).

As if I wasn't indulging enough, I sat down in the cafe and had a nice cup of steaming coffee with some lemon meringue pie. Pie. Coffee. Books. Armchair splendor.

And so, I am happy. Perhaps I am even ecstatic.

I love books in the same way druggies and meteoriticists like moonrocks.


"I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library."
Borges.