engagement

So this might be an interesting experience, especially since it only comes around once (at least for my life). I'm sitting here in my room right now which has been moderately cleaned out, mostly because I don't want to ruin the air of surprise by having a perfectly clean room. There's nothing more that ruins a surprise by leaving those subtle clues like having everyone's shoes near the door or cars parked outside the house for a surprise party.

Wait, so what am surprise am I referring to exactly?

In a few hours, I will be proposing to my beautiful and wonderful and charming and stunning and intelligent and gorgeous Magdalene. She'll become my fiancé and will relinquish title of girlfriend, a term which I've always hated.

It's funny because Mag's mom almost dropped the bomb on this surprise today. You see yesterday I went to her house around 6 PM because I wanted to ask for her parents' permission to marry Mag, and I knew Mag was teaching from 6-7 PM and I wanted to catch them at that time. Mag's mum is notorious for screwing these kinds of surprises up, so I figured one day before would be enough to let them know about it and mull it over before the event.

Of course, when I get there, Mag's mum is teaching and her dad is nowhere to be found. I sit around and look at Youtube breaking videos for like an hour, and then Mag comes up and we get ready to leave for my house to study. I see Mags' dad pulling into the driveway at that moment and realize that this time is probably the only chance I'll get to ask them for permission, so I take Mag out to the car, say, "Oh crap I forgot my gloves in your room I'll be right back" and then run in. I steal Mags' mum away from her student and grab her dad and sister and announce I'd like to propose to Mag today. Her mum says, "You better take care of her" and her dad gives me the thumbs up.

You figured one night wouldn't ruin anything, but the next morning Mag's mum comes up to her and goes, "So you are engaged?" WTF. Even though she said, "TOMORROW?" to me yesterday when I explained when I wanted to do it, she manages to pretty much enact my worst nightmare. Christina managed to defuse the situation by getting her mum to shush up then explaining that I was showing Chris a ring to get her opinion and that her mum saw and jumped to conclusions. I had to call Mag later and cover my ass, saying white lies like, "Oh if I were to propose to you I'd take you somewhere else like do it in Mexico or something" or "So you want me to propose to you tonight? I suppose I could scrounge up a twist-tie instead of a ring..." So basically ball has been dropped, thanks my soon-to-be mother-in-law whom I will be murdering shortly (gosh that's going to make for a great wedding hey?). I hope this hasn't ruined anything, and I hope Mag doesn't see my proposal coming, but my lady is a very astute girl and will be probably making a beeline for a hug today so she can try to feel through my coat to see if there's a box in there. Read:

OMGG JOEEYYY! MY MOM KINDA DROPPED THE BALL ON YOUR SURPRISE TONIGHT. :/ hope you can think of a way to make mag less suspicious and still surprised. If i can help let me know
What the?!
she thought you asked her last night. So this morning she was like, so your engaged now?
Omg are you serious. Omg
Ahhh yeah. :/
Wait what exactly did she say? Omg this is like my worst nightmare
My mom said "so you got in engaged last night?" and mag was like what? And I was like. Mom what are you talking about? And my mom just staarted laughing and mag was like what?? And my mom was like oh no i was just wondering cuz and then more laughter.
Omfg fml. I waited till the last possible moment to tell her so she couldn't screw it up lol ah your mom is too funny. I'm so mad and amused at the same time

So this is it, my heart's pounding through its pericardium and skeletal enclosure. I've practiced my lines a hundred times it seems now, but I'm sure once the moment comes I'll probably just blank and have to ad lib some freestyle rap, "Yo Mag I love you MUCH / you and I should stop going DUTCH / take this ring and be my WIFE / i'll be yours for the rest of my LIFE". Sheesh mageesh this few hours between class and dinner was supposed to be for studying, but every time I look at Dupuytren's or flexor digitorum profundus or scapulohumeral rhythm I start experiencing sympathetic nervous system activation. I'm going to try to go relax.

Exciting times!

-4:42 PM OCT 09/09

***

Right now I want to kill myself. For some unknown, ungodly reason my mother has just taken the car today. I left explicit instructions that she leave the car as I had dinner reservations at 6 PM and that I would be taking my future wife out, but I guess she doesn't seem to comprehend the magnitude of such an event.

I really hate mothers today.

This is quickly becoming one of the worst nights ever. I swear if the food turns out to be rat confit served in a beet puree with oyster sauce and we get in a car crash along the way back and then once we get into the hospital it gets destroyed by a wayward meteor that'll just be icing on the cake. Fuck you Murphy's Law.

How embarrassing, this is supposed to be a date and Mag is picking me up. Will my credit card be declined too and she'll have to pay? Omigosh FML.

-5:41 PM OCT 09/09

***

WE'RE ENGAGED!!!

-7:05 PM OCT 09/09 (Actually posted at 9:13 PM but I'm estimating when I actually did it. I have video footage with the actual time that I'll pull up on a later day.)

***

So it went like this. The moment Mag drove to my house, my dad came home with the van, so we took the van out. Mag always does this thing where she tries to guess where I'm taking her (typically she's right) but this time she struck out. Her first initial guesses were Red Ox Inn and Characters (omgo$h no) and then when I started heading on the Whitemud she thought we were going to Chop. Instead, I took her all the way to the River Cree Casino and we went to Sage, this nice little place inside that has a good reputation for their steaks. Mag had a Caesar to start with a delicious pickled bean, and then we ordered Guyere French Onion Soup and Steak /w Frites (Mag got her fries switched to mashed potatoes). One of the best steaks I've ever had.

We finish up and pile into the car and I almost get us into car accidents like 4 times on the way back because I'm so full that I'm driving drunk (the kind of drunk where all the blood rushes to your stomach because you're digesting a giant steak). We get home and Mag immediately homes in on my computer to check her e-mail for an important document her instructor was sending her.

By this time, my heart's pounding pretty hard. I made this video using Taylor Swift's Love Story as the background music that I wanted to show her, but for some frustrating reason Mag wouldn't relinquish use of the computer. She was watching a Paul Dateh music video, and then she decided she'd read about Grad Expo, and I kept trying to force her to close the window but she was so damn stubborn!

Eventually I got it to go, then I started the video. She squealed but was confused that I made a video for date night, but laughed anyways. I synced the part where it goes, "I got tired of waiting...wondering if you were ever coming around..." with the video where Mag caught the bouquet, and then just as she catches it, the song goes, "and he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said".

At that moment, I stopped the video and gathered Mag up and tried to say three lines that I had memorized and practiced for two days straight, but I choked and only remembered the first one. It went, "I know you know I've been really excited about date night, and there's a reason why. It's been six long years of happiness, and I want to make that a lifetime more of the same. I promise to love you forever and always and I vow to take care of you for the rest of my life. Magdalene, will you marry me?"

Mag said, "OF COURSE I'll marry you!" and then we proceeded to call our families. It's a day in now and Mag and I are still having trouble saying "fiancée" instead of "boyfriend/girlfriend".

Thanks so much for everyone's well wishes. =)

-10:11 PM OCT 10/10/09