Owl Pellets
Ralph Fletcher
A month ago
in biology lab
you sat close to me
knee touching mine
your sweet smell
almost drowning out
the formaldehyde stink
which crinkled up
your nose
while I dissected
our fetal pig.
Now I take apart
this owl pellet
small bag that holds
skin and hair and bones
little skeletons
what the owl ate
but couldn't digest
and coughed back up.
You sit with Jon Fox
ignore me completely
laugh at his dumb jokes
let your head fall onto
his bony shoulder
while I attempt
to piece together
with trembling hands
the tiny bones
of a baby snake.
Certain things
are just about
impossible
to swallow.
***
Ah, love unrequited. The most beautiful love.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
reading
now:
done:
the giveron a daily basis
the past
me likey
- brains
- communist daughter
- cool calm pete
- crosswords
- e.e. cummings
- green apple green tea
- how monstrously fast i type
- imogen heap
- jazzy jester, toyz & nasty ray
- lions
- lookbook
- m.c. escher
- Magdalene
- making corners
- metatheory
- monsters inc
- my earlobes
- palindromes
- primer
- radiohead
- ratatouille
- really colorful shoes
- sarah slean
- shelby & blacky
- steve reich
- stream of consciousness
- time traveller's wife
Posts
is unrequited love the most beautiful love?
ReplyDeleteI think it is. I had a talk with my friend Curtis about it. It's like the love that is the most intense form of love because the passion you experience for the other person is never quenched. It's the one where you hold that other person on a pedestal, but they don't even know your name, the kind where you would do anything for them, even if they will never know.
ReplyDeleteIt's why girls fall in love with Mr. Darcy. What they don't realize is that even though there are millions of Mr. Darcys out there pining after their Miss Elizabeth Bennets, she continuously goes for the Mr. Wickhams.
Maybe I find love unknown beautiful rather than love unrequited, but I think that there is just something about you loving someone in the highest order even though they don't give two shits about you that makes it the saddest, most important kind of love.
This is the story me and Curtis talked about:
ReplyDeleteI never graduated college.
My high school sweetheart (turned college sweetheart) and I had been together a little over three years when her father decided to finally disown her. It was our sophomore year at university.
Her parents had been against us from the very start, their most vocalized reason being that I wasn't Chinese (I'm half, by the way). Mostly I think that they believed she could do much better. When they forced her to choose between her family and me ... well, I don't think I've ever felt anymore in love with anyone at anytime then or since, than when she crawled into bed with me that night and cried about never being able to see her sisters again.
I helped her get financial aid to cover tuition, but there wasn't enough in the end for room and board. Living with me in my dorm was out of the question; there wasn't any way we'd be able to hide it from the RA down the hall. So out of an inflated sense of responsibility, I suggested we get an apartment together.
And for a time, we floated on cloud nine. Here we were, two kids juggling work, school and all the responsibilities of an adult life. We even had a cat and a dog. Then the credit card bills started piling up. I did the math one night and came to the conclusion that our lifestyle was unsustainable based on our current part-time incomes. So ... I quietly dropped out of my engineering program and found a full time job.
It's hard to remember my rationale for doing that, but it made sense at the time. I didn't tell her. She gave up her family for me, you know? The last thing I wanted was to worry her. Thanks to a bit of computer savvy-ness, I was able to land a job at a major insurance company compiling reports off of the mainframe for lazy exec's. Basically, I was that guy with those god-damn TPS reports. It sucked hardcore.
So our life continued, albeit a bit less happily. Out of boredom (or lack of mental challenges), I'd help her with her coursework ... doing research and writing papers and all that. She graduated summa cum laude, and I like to think I had something to do with that.
We broke up not long after. Maybe the stress of the nearly married life finally got to us; maybe we'd just been together for too long. She moved away to Korea, and I haven't seen her since, though we keep in touch every now and then. We're both in a happier place in our lives now, however, so the story ends well. She's reconciled with her family and has a boyfriend they approve of. As for me, immediately after the breakup, I dropped the gut, found a great job, moved to NYC ... and have been thoroughly enjoying the bachelor life.
To this day, nearly three years later, she still doesn't know. I kinda wanna keep it that way.
This is the first time I've ever told anyone this story, including friends and family. Somehow it makes sense that it's to you guys (whoever had the patience to read through all this, at least). As far as anyone's concerned, I graduated with a mechanical engineering degree. The truth risked resentment, and I didn't want that drama.
hmm! I'm I horrible to think this isn't sweet at all? He lied to her for so many years...I mean she thought he was in school! What if she wanted to go for lunch...he'd have to constantly lie to her. I think there are other options...she could have worked things out with her family, ate out less, changed her lifestyle. If I were in the same situation, I don't think I would find this kind of love loving. I'd want to find a solution together...
ReplyDeleteI think that's the difference between you and me, honey. I've talked to Jia about this a lot, and I mean when we were talking with Ian and everyone at your house it's kind of obvious that I'm very much an idealist and you're very much a realist. I believe in love like the movies whereas you may wish love was like the movies but believe more in the practical side of love. I think that's why like in the earlier parts of the relationship I didn't understand who or what you were going for at all. =P
ReplyDeleteIt's not horrible to think it isn't sweet, but like I always say there's just something about sacrificing everything for the person you love, even if they don't acknowledge it, that's really admirable. I can relate to this because all guys have done something like this for the girl they love (myself included), and this is just a validation of the sacrifices we make.
hahaha sorry hon
<3
Mag & I had a talk about this at church this morning, and I think there is a distinction to be made about the principle of the self-sacrificial love and the idea of a good relationship. A relationship should be honest and open and should have as little lying as possible, and this case would be an example of a shitty relationship because he lied to her about everything, like potential things that would upset her and she has no idea about.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, it is beautiful because he does sacrifice everything like a true lover should, but it's not the most stellar example of true love. I agree at least on this with Mag, who brought up the perfect example of Jesus' love being an ideal on that level.
So while it's still beautiful, it's also got a huge element of ugly.
-j
Joey I just wanted to point out to you that at this moment, the greatest love I have ever felt was towards a camera.
ReplyDeleteMy Nikon.
I do not understand any of the posts that you have about relationships. But I have decided that dying a senile old man heckling in the background BUT taking awesome pictures is the way to go!