the ring

I'm writing a new piece - or at least I started a new piece - that looks promising. I tend to write these great starts to stories that I end up leaving because I forget where I was going with it, then finish them like years later, literally. I usually write pieces that end up with a really sick and twisted ending that is either tragic or just plain disturbing, so we'll see how this one ends up - whether it ends up being like a stereotypical mo-esque story or whether it'll be feel-good through and through. So the premise to the story is a ring:

"The moment Alan awoke, he had a pretty good feeling that it was going to be a long day. Dana was asleep in the other room behind a securely locked door – the product of a very Catholic upbringing – but he didn’t mind because, well, if all went well, they’d be having as much of the nasty as they could possibly handle in less than a year if today went okay. You see, Alan had been planning for today to be the day that he would propose to Dana on the top of Wayward Falls, the very end of their splendid nature expedition he had planned for her because he knew she liked camping. What’s funny is that she didn’t like bugs, or the sound of the woods, or sleeping on the ground, so every night they drove into town and holed up in Miss Aimsgrove’s Bed & Breakfast.

So that was the plan: Wake Dana up early (or she’d sleep in till three), eat breakfast, pack their things into the car and head out for Wayward Falls, propose, then drive four hours home to their pleasant little two-person townhouse. Simple enough, except…

…Alan lost the ring.

He knew this because last night he had put it in his jacket pocket (the inside breast one) for safekeeping (he felt safer if it was on him rather than stashed somewhere), and yet when they returned home last night around 1 AM he couldn’t find it. Yesterday was Day 4 of their expedition and they had been getting tired, so all they did was roam around town and catch a movie and have some dinner so it had to be somewhere in town at least, somewhere it could have risen out of its crevice and tumbled out. It had to be somewhere he was doing a handstand, or a cartwheel, or were on a roller coaster doing a loop-de-loop, or maybe on a tour bus that rolled over swerving to avoid ducks crossing the street – essentially anywhere you would find yourself upside down. How could a box laden with several heavy diamonds tumble out of an inside pocket four and a half inches deep?

Alan sighed, enjoying the last of the early morning warmth emanating from his covers, then rather violently kicked them off and got up. His mind blanked suddenly – orthostatic hypotension – then as he regained his wits, he stumbled silently to the bathroom and shut the door, careful not to cause too much of a commotion as to wake his soon-to-be-wife. He took a quick pee and washed his hands, then reached for his toothbrush, squirted some paste on it and worked his teeth into a foamy lather. He wanted to make the face of a crazy, rabid person foaming at the mouth, but then he realized he was using the toothbrush with the pink handle, which clearly was not his. He thought for a second, shrugged, then finished up.

Alan then went to look for his lucky jeans, found them, and donned them. He rummaged through his baggage for his lucky shirt, put it on, and went to the bathroom to look at himself. His hair was a mess, but this was an important moment and he had better get out and look for that ring. If Dana slept in till two (conservative estimate, she’d probably sleep in till around three or four judging by the snores seeping into his room), he had about four hours to find that ring, get back, throw himself back in the covers and pretend he was sleeping until Dana woke up, plodded in in her panicky way when she oversleeps, and yells at him to “get your shit together and toss it in the car!” while she snaps on the bathroom radio that’s playing Metallica’s Cyanide, throws up devil horns, jumps into the shower, and gets “ready for Wayward Falls WOO!”

She is awesome on so many levels."


That should be enough to pique your curiosity I hope. In the meantime, try out Metric's Gold Gun Girls track off of their new Fantasies album.