Is anyone sick of seeing this guy every time you sign on to webmail? I know you solved the game of checkers and all, but really if that's your claim to fame you need to do something new - that might get you an article in Popular Science but you're not really going that much farther, sorry dude:
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Why is this titled Dennis The Menace? Maybe only progeny that lived during the late-80s and early-90s remember Dennis' skyrocket to fame with his TV cartoons and his lacklustre attempt at the movie. He represented that which all parents are afraid of: That being a juvenile delinquent with a sling shot and a replica James Dean cowboy hat was an alright thing to be. This spawned a generation of kids like me that burned ants with a magnifying glass, threw rocks at seagulls (but never hit them), and climbed onto the roofs of just about every building you could climb on top of. Such rebels we were.
As I've been aging, I've forgotten that this mentality still exists out there, even without their Dear Leader Dennis Mitchell. Sometimes boys will just be boys - I got to learn that the other day when my cousins rolled into town from Canmore. Usually I'm preoccupied with studying for midterms or something, but I figured I could take a day off this time since I owed it to them for years of not really hanging out. And so began my re-education to the lives of the modern day teenager.
We started the day off early, since kids have no time to sleep in (obviously, there's so much time in a day and not a second to waste!) I remember waking up at 6 AM every Sunday morning to go to Uncle Ron's house (my neighbor) to steal his Capt. Crunch, watch early morning cartoons (X-Men was my favourite), play with his giant dog Penny and pounce around on his trampoline. He'd leave the door open for me the night before because he knew inevitably I'd find my way into the house - which meant I'd be ringing the door bell for a half an hour forcing him to wake up and open it for me.
Kids need fuel, so we went to GRB for Dim Sum:
The service is still terrible, so we found ourselves at HK Bakery right next door for sticky pork buns, ham & egg buns, weiner buns & egg tarts. We then piled in the car devouring our new-fangled riches, and drove to WEM. I haven't been to the Water Park since I was like six, so here I stand in the locker room in a stagnant pool of someone's old swimsuit water, amid the chatterings of junior high students there on a school field trip loosely tied to learning about the water treatment process of pool water. For three some hours I had the craziest workout I've ever had, trying to fight waves and body surf over the heads of children, fat people lying on tubes and juvenile couples with no sense of privacy. I raced Julian in the Blue Bullet (he won), did the best flying entry into the Twister while yelling 'HUZZAH!', and got my nuts kicked in by when I came down Nessie's Revenge and hit the water nut-first too hard. We stole pool tubes from unsuspecting families that left them lying around (save $5!) and competed to see who could throw Emma the farthest (I can imagine her sinuses must have been full of water by the time we left).
After lying in the hot tub for a few minutes and playing around in this crazy interactive water playground that hey must've built recently, we made our way out smelling of chlorine and infant urine. We wound the day down by shopping at H&M and West49, a store I haven't been to since the aggressive inline days of late junior high/early high school (fueled by my crush on Fabiola Da Silva at the time - that Bio 5 was huge hey?).
So I suppose all in all the moral of the story is there's still time for you to relive the days of your childhood. If you have some time, might as well do a throwback and go find some Bonkers and some Fun Dip and play the early TMNT on the Nintendo. Grab your old bike and ride over to your girlfriend's house and force her to sit on the bike frame in between your legs. You know, reminisce about times when Walgreen's still existed, when Mac's was Winks, when Soda Licious and Gushers were what you'd trade your whole lunch to Shea for.
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