ughhhh

This self-professed neurogeek is in hypertensive crisis due to ingestion of too much Pearl Jade x McDonald's.

You thought FML was funny? Try TXTS FRM LST NIGHT, a smörgåsbord of textual hilarity combining cell phones, drunkenness. and witty banter into entertainment for you and me!

(913): the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy…. I’m getting laid and possibly a job

or

(551): Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva

or

(914): explain to me why “crisis hotline lolz” is in my contacts?

And it goes on and on. You're welcome.