rocket launcher/target posture

Launcher? Posture?

Eh, a good enough rhyme.

I had this dream last night that really shook me up. I went to bed and passed out like a Grade 7 teenage girl drinking Absinthe on an empty stomach. In my dream my subconscious decided it'd be an interesting experience to try and feel what that WCB shooter felt like. I spent my dream acquiring an illegal rocket launcher and then blowing up a high profile government building. Luckily nobody was hurt in my dream but the building, which resembled the smoldering wreckage of the Twin Towers post-9/11.

I spent the rest of the my dream running from the 5-0, dodging bullets and taking shelter in abandoned warehouses with the whump whump whump of choppers flying overhead and lights invading cracks in the windowpanes. I spent the entirety of my dream pondering the ethical and moral lines I had broken and trying to come to terms with what I had done.

I woke up and thanked God it was but a dream. I pretty much was invaded by absolute guilt and the sense that the only way I could bring some semblance of justice to the situation was offing myself.

***

Last week I made a post about my recurring back pain. I was in 528 lab taking a break from manual muscle testing while my partner in crime Mankeen went to the bathroom, so I took the opportunity to flag down our TA Andrea and ask her what she thought was up with my back. I told her how the night before I had hung my legs over my bed and let gravity pull my spine and my muscles out, and how today I felt so much better from doing that. She had me perform trunk flexion and extension, then got me to explain a little bit of the history and the compensatory behaviours I performed to assist my trunk movements and minimize pain.

While she made the disclaimer that she'd have to do more testing and go through a full assessment, she said she suspected spinal disc issues. The disc protrudes when I do trunk flexion, and also when I sit with flat back while I study. My trunk hyperextension self-treatment I perform pushes the disc back into alignment, which is why I feel better. I asked her what the best interventions for this would be, and she responded with exactly what I didn't want to hear, that I needed to fix my posture.

I have to say that this day has been the most difficult day, because fixing poor posture is like one of the single hardest things to do. I have these absolutely horrible weak back muscles now because they've seemingly never done a day's work in their life, and now they have to support my trunk and allow for my bedraggled lumbar spine to undergo more lordosis. I was studying and trying to keep a straight back but the weariness of my postural muscles was ruining my concentration.

I have this intense fear of being disabled by the time I'm like 25 due to a slipped disc, which is why I figure I should start today and prevent injury.

rocket launcher // target posture