education

I do a lot of thinking in the shower. I know, it's weird, but for some reason the solitude, the luxurious relaxation, the incessant scattering of water, somehow focuses my attention inward. I learned that in fMRI studies, a researcher has to be careful that their baseline task is not a resting task, because medial structures are at higher activity during rest as a result of self-referential processing. If I was taking a shower and they did an fMRI at the same time, I'm sure they'd find my medial regions to be outrageously perfused.

Today, I started thinking about Taylor Mali and how much teachers are worth. Education is the foundation of our economic infrastructure, nevermind our academic ziggurat. The first step in beginning a child's life is to enroll them in school, and their primary exposure to learning (apart from what you yourself tell your kids) is what that teacher at the front of the classroom says.

So let me think, what have I learned from teachers? I've learned that they're people too, but only in Grade 3 when I found out Mdm. Godin's first name by accident, and I called her by it and she scolded me and told me that it's unprofessional to use a teacher's first name. So I guess you taught me respect too. Mdm. Charlebois, who yelled at me to respect my classmates when I laughed at Stephanie Harries when she didn't know a fork in French was "fourchette". You taught me teachers are cool because they can blow massive double bubble bubbles, even though you didn't win the bubble blowing contest because the bubble got stuck to your eyelash. You had this obsession with pigs, and I remember for summer you gave us all books with the inside cover stamped with a pig. I read the book the day after, and it made me realize that you don't wait for happiness to come to you, you make happiness with your own hands.



Ms. Bean, you taught me that even teachers get brain tumors, and that they can alter your behavior so strongly that you turn me into an introverted kid who doesn't talk in class and needs to see a psychologist as a result. You know, that was a year well wasted of my life. I'm sorry we got you fired as a result. Mrs. Jensen, who taught me art can be beautiful, when you yelled at me to not wreck your fire horsehair paintbrushes. My bad.

Mr. Clink, you taught me to know my history, because you know yours better than anybody I know. You also taught me that knowing the right thing at the right time is important: I won our class history game by knowing the word "chihuahua" as an answer to one of the questions. It's the only time in High School where I actually felt remotely smart. Ms. Fisher, who taught me everything there is to know about biology and gave me one of the best marks on the brain chapter, I owe you my life for being the first to show me that biology is really cool, and the brain is better than anything else in the world.

The rest I owe to my university instructors, who are the finest intellects and people I have ever met. Dr. Palmer, who revealed to us in class that there's a place on earth he'd love to live, this cave where the mud is so sensuous that he just wants to quit work, strip naked and go lie in the mud all day. You played a terrible Gordon Lightfoot song in class, but you taught me that day that folk music is actually really cool, and I kind of like folk-y type music now, depending on how hardcore it is. You awarded me my first A+ ever in University, and I am forever grateful that I know useless facts about diatoms and chaetognaths now. Dr. Todd, who taught me that if you work hard, it pays off, and that despite all odds, you can be an important figure if you stay positive, think you're smarter than you really are, and don't ever give up.

Finally, Dr. Caplan, who showed me that you can be everything at once. A masters in physics, then a doctorate in neuroscience. A researcher who studies neuromonitoring, yet loves all aspects of neuroscience. A person who isn't afraid to dream big about huge issues on ethics and consciousness, yet will lock himself in a lab to go study computational memory as his work. He flaunts the results of his and his colleagues' studies (getting all excited), yet will humbly admit the limitations of every procedure: "As long as you know your limitations and state them, you'll be fine." Brilliant, yet cool as all hell, who isn't afraid to talk to a silent class of twenty three students who have nothing to say because we're all shy but actually have a lot of great ideas that we showcased in our class presentations.

Teachers: We hate you when you give us assignments and exams, but love you because you teach us things that we otherwise wouldn't know. Thank you.